A client with a stroke that affected her left side came to see me lately after being referred by another client with a stroke who has told me how after an intensive with me he “is falling in love with his left side again”.

She is bright and intelligent but looked down and her face was grim and looked desperate.

I asked her some questions when we started the conversation, but they were answered by her companions that were helping her with everything. I knew I had to address this later – to me it looked like she could handle herself and do a lot by herself and that out of the habit to assist her grew a habit of leading her and taking charge of her. Sometimes when we feel helpless we give over the keys to someone else and it is not always in line with reality, meaning that we might not be totally helpless and it is important to realize it.

I explained the work and the difference between the paradigm of connecting and awakening to oneself and the modality of fixing.

Her caregivers and her were talking only about her left palm and how they all wanted it to move.

Through the lesson from time to time when I saw that she started breathing deeper (her chest was not moving to begin with) and her face was brighter and relaxed, l explained how the hand and the rest of herself are connected and directed her to pay attention to the changes she was experiencing which she gladly agreed were there and valid.

At some point she suddenly opened her eyes with surprise and said that she felt that her palm and fingers wanted to open and then close and I could see that she was focused on it now. I asked her if she could just enjoy it and let it be there and not try to do something with it and just feel herself, her breathing and the hand in the background. (When we started I could see she was holding it with the right hand almost all the time trying to open it and exercise it).

When the lesson was over she sat up and looked like a different person. She was smiling and started telling me that she was now for the first time in many months feeling that there was a reason to live and that there was hope for her.

She told me what she experienced and felt and then when I asked her something or referred to what she was saying, the caregiver started answering instead and she lowered her head and did not say anything.

I continued speaking with her stating that when we are leaning on someone’s help for a long time sometimes out of good faith they take charge and we start to limit ourselves to even less freedom of function and living and that I would talk to her because she could answer herself.

She then told me that she really wanted to take back control on her life and was so happy that we started this process.

I know I will need to work more with her and the caregivers on this issue but since for me this is the metalevel of being able to find her own voice and validate her own experience and become the author of her life.

By the way, the next lesson she told me that she shook hands with someone in the evening and that she could really do this and feel it.

With love from Eytan and The Moving Center team.